im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
