i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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