even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
