Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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