if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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