Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
