Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
