No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
