How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
