So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
