This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
