his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize