just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
