It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
