Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
