I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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