nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
