My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
