Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
