then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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