I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
