I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
