He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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