pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just cut my nipple shaving
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we're making bets on your personal life
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
