just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
