What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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