i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
is it fun? or sober?
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