Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
