you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize