Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
