Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize