did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
