is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
