Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
