I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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