How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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