Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
