Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize