Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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