It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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