Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
