Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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