That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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