they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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