Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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