She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
