No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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