peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize