And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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