he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
