Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
