remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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