check it out our google latitudes are spooning
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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