i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
