I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
