Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
