So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize