You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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