I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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